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Then he contacted me and said he found an old cell phone message from me and he wasn’t going to erase it because I am so nice.
We started dating again in the beginning of June, and saw each other every day of his week-long vacation (he initiated it). I always worry (because he ended it with me once before and also ended a six year relationship before me easily) that it might happen again. I have more invested in this now, and would probably be devastated if he did end it.
He doesn’t know what I’m going through when we’re not together.
Technically this relationship didn’t start in March, but June when we resumed. And you’re asking ME how to enable you to continue this pattern? You must have mistaken me for someone who wants women to have unhealthy relationships with emotionally unavailable men.
It just started, but I feel so connected physically and mentally, and it’s driving me crazy! You must have confused me with a man who thinks that men should be in control and that women should just put up with all nonsense.
How can I get to a place where this doesn’t immobilize me? You must have misremembered some blog post where you thought I said that the ideal relationship is one where you’re walking on eggshells, anxious about the present, insecure with the future, and consistently questioning your man’s integrity. Any readers have a POSITIVE tale about how their panic-inducing relationship has lasted for thirty years?
I’m so afraid of losing the happiness and peace I feel when we are together. If so, let me know in the comments section that you’re the exception.
But the rule, Nancy, is this: Your man’s job is to make you feel safe.
Your man’s job is not simply to be smart and sexy and appealing, but to be consistent and kind.
Your man’s job is to take down his profile, call you every day, integrate himself into your daily life and bill himself as your boyfriend.
And if you’ve been with a guy for over 6-8 weeks and you still have questions about whether he’s your boyfriend, guess what?