They focus on the most shallow, non-substantive factors as deal breakers… he has to be a certain height, he has to earn 50k to 75k, etc. Happiness for them is quantified in terms of money/material possessions. If they can’t have you exclusively, it usually means no dice. Today it seems as if they want you to be committed to them from the first date…which is ridiculous. it looks like I will have to change that part of my dating profile. Although I think that excuse (used by a couple of women so far) was actually just a cover for the real issue - race.
I’m probably 4% street smart - the guy who can survive in just about any situation. Louis in the 1970’s & 80’s taught me about survival…and how to be aware of my surroundings. I am looking to find a congregation to possibly join and will start attending potential churches this year.
I am looking for Progressive, robust, unorthodox, innovative churches centered around service.
Looking for congregations that have volunteer opportunities.
Well, I just jumped back into the dating market this past month and I am finding that the options are few. They can do it just fine, but it takes extra work to function outside of their normal character. I already know that I will run into the same problems that I ran into before - see the commentary entitled "White Men Only". I am already seeing some of those problems popping up again. I hated my job and basically had inadequate employment/ income. Instead i‘m just trying to get to know more people). but he has to offer something that compensates (There is a penalty fee that you have to pay when you are Black and male).
Although I am not looking for any serious matches…. I chalk most of my social aversion to the fact that I am pretty much an introvert (although I was much more social growing up). Being a Black male who wants to meet women from a variety of ethnic groups… Most non-black women want to see higher earnings/more lucrative employment. In other words, if he is a physician, attorney, or an executive, or has some other job that would give him an acceptable income, he can usually do just fine. (if I can find one that can appreciate a decent guy, who has a temperament that I can tolerate, and who matches up in terms of values and culture) often have irrational expectations when it comes to income as well. I just wish someone would have told me that sooner.
only activity partners, since I am not in any position to delve into a serious relationship. In fact, I will be 39 next month, and to tell you the truth, I have never really dated for any meaningful length of time. I didn’t go on my first date until I was 29 (the last time I dated). When I tell people that my life is crap (because they ask) and that I hate how my life turned out, they have no idea what I mean. Common social situations that are enjoyable to most people (dating, going to social gatherings, crowded places, events) are a pain in the ass for me. I typically have no interest in dating Black women…and exclusively date interracially… I wasted all that time chasing that fairy tale called “The American Dream”. I would have spent more time trying to live and enjoy the little time that we have on this planet instead of chasing money, career, material possessions just so that I could be viable and marketable to the opposite sex. I now realize that I wasted 20 years of my life on complete bullshit. Another problem is that when I mention I don’t want a serious relationship… They assume that I am a cheating husband…or I just want to get laid (not necessarily the case…. I simply want friends/activity partners because I don’t have the time and resources required for a relationship.
I get stressed when in social situations, especially in large groups and with people who I don’t know. but if I wanted to go that route, there are obstacles there too. I am now too old to date most of the women in my desired age group (which is 24-36). Being able to market yourself as a viable man is expensive. I want a better employment situation before dealing with a serious relationship.
It’s more like a shy actors ability to get through a scene. I’m using the most popular online service available…. But this time, having some experience with online dating, my expectations have been lowered. I’m in the category between 25k and 35k and I’m not considered a viable match for a lot of women from a financial standpoint (which is why I am not looking for any serious dating relationships.
The ideal mate across the board (all ethnic groups of women) is still a white male, successful, earning 50k or more a year.
It was a problem the last time I tried to date, and obviously that is the kind of problem that will never go away.
I find them to be the most demanding/superficial (not all of course). I also want the opportunity to meet more people before I settle and confine myself to one person.