Be aware that giving validation is difficult for those who are deeply wounded, self-absorbed and/or self-protective.
So if you’re living with a mate who fits any of those descriptors, accept that this skill may be one that you’ll have to “lead out on” and be the example for your spouse.
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” –Hebrews -16 (NIV) I'm Beth Steffaniak and my story is not what you might expect from a pastor's wife, counselor and life coach.
I came into marriage with many emotional wounds and unhealthy patterns that left mess after mess in my wake. Click on this link: Beth's Story to read more about my messy journey.
Validation means to express understanding and acceptance of another person's internal experience, whatever that might be. Validation builds relationships and helps ease upset feelings.
Validation is a skill that’s so very elusive to many of us.
In fact, it’s often left unexplained and definitely not often modeled in our families, churches and/or culture.
But it’s absolutely crucial to effective communication and to the fulfillment of our craving for connection with our mates.
You might want to record these questions and keep them in a place where you can retrieve them easily, like on a handy index card tucked in your wallet or on a note-keeping app on your smart phone, etc.
In highly charged moments validation can be so crucial and clarifying.
Sometimes a conflict can be averted by simply validating what your spouse has said.
It may be all they were looking for in the first place.
Other important occasions for validation might be when a deep or vulnerable disclosure is being made—.