I think women have a finely tuned desperate-sensing gene and they can smell when a guy is desperate for their attention and approval. I think it’s some basic instinct in us guys that just wants to “have her” that screws us up and makes us sound awkward. We’re so afraid of rejection and meeting new women that we think it’s better to stick with what we got because we feel it’s just so damn hard meeting new women.
Or maybe it's survival of the fittest- don't stop on one until you're officially locked down?
This probably stems from the fact that marriage (which is almost universally defined as a union of two people) is frequently promoted as the “ideal” relationship state we should all be striving for.
As a result, it tends to be the exception rather than the rule that people report engaging in non-monogamy.
I am dating 2 men, neither have asked for a relationship but I think it is heading that direction.
My final dating goal is to have a serious, committed relationship with the woman of my dreams.
However, I recognize that to get to that point, I’ll have to meet many women in the process. this can come off as arrogant and misogynistic and believe me this is not where I’m coming from. I get a high when I connect with her and we just have this flow to our conversation. Right doesn’t mean I should be living like a monk or stop myself from enjoying the company of all women. I’m not into tricking or misleading women just so that I can date or be intimate with them.
Many guys have this notion that we pursue one woman, go out with her exclusively and then when things end, we pursue the next woman. Yet the inevitable question arises – if I want to date multiple women at the same time (which I do right now), how can I do that while still maintaining my integrity?
That’s what I’ve done for most (but not all) of my dating life. For me, that means being honest and upfront with them – that I’m not looking for something serious right now even though eventually I do want to settle down with the right woman.
But I’m starting to realize that this is a really slow process to get to where I want to go – to find Mrs. I just don’t have enough years in my life to find the right woman that way. That way, there’s no mistaking me for the serial monogamist type who would start being exclusive with a woman after going out with her a few times. I often wonder if you take a group of guys that are happily in a relationship and/or marriage and ask them: if you knew you could be in a serious relationship with any woman in the world – ANY, would you still choose to be with your partner?
So my new strategy is to keep meeting and dating new and interesting (did I mention attractive? A side benefit of dating multiple women is that you’re not so hung up on any one woman. I wonder how many of them, if they’re truly honest with themselves, would say they’d still choose to be with the person they’re with.
And that, ironically, makes you more attractive to each one. By dating multiple women, I’m not as affected by the outcome of any one. For instance, I have a problem interacting in an easy-going manner with very attractive women. She would have a lot more going for her than her looks, but she would still be a very beautiful woman. Right right now, I’d probably mess up the interaction. I think that we as guys often settle for the woman that happened to have chosen us.