Of course, not all of us will feel like getting back in the senior dating game. But, for those members of our community who are still interested in finding love – or at least a little fun and romance – this episode of the Sixty and Me show is here to help.
On the one hand, nothing hurts your self-confidence more than a divorce.
For years after my divorce, I couldn’t imagine going on a date with another man. Then, as the years passed, I learned to love my independence.
Now, I’m starting to feel like it may be time to give dating a second look.
Over the last few years, I’ve interviewed dating experts like David Wygant and Lisa Copeland. So, as you can imagine, she has a lot to say about dating after divorce. Martha says that there is one question that every woman should ask herself before dating after a divorce. There are so many wonderful things that you can do with your time and being single is absolutely a viable lifestyle for many women.
I also just interviewed divorce expert, Martha Bodyfelt. The question is: “Are you completely ok going for the rest of your life by yourself, relying on friends and family, but, not having a man by your side? At the same time, many of us, if we are honest with ourselves, really do miss having a man in our lives. If you fall into the latter category and decide that senior dating is right for you, Martha has some advice.
We miss the support that being in a relationship can bring and we crave physical contact. She says that we need to remind ourselves that everyone – men and women – feel insecure and nervous when it comes to dating. The trick is to “embrace the awkward” and not let our fears about our appearance or our inevitable mistakes get in the way. Many women hate the fact that older men judge them, in part, based on their appearance. But, most older men simply don’t have the confidence, looks, financial resources and charm to compete with men 1 or 2 decades their junior.
Martha agrees with me that dating after 60 doesn’t have to be so darn serious. These same women have absolutely no problem expecting a man to be rich and devilishly handsome. In a strange harmonious way, we’re all in this together.
The truth is that both men and women need to be realistic when it comes to dating after 60. The sooner men and women over 60 accept who we are, the better. Martha recommends that older women take the time to write down what they are looking for in a partner. If “good looks” or “money” are at the top of your list, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Most older men are not going to look like George Clooney. There are so many other factors that are better predictors of relationship success. Maybe it’s time to reach out and talk to that person next to you? What advice would you give to the other women in our community?
When it comes to dating after divorce, it pays to be proactive. Finally, don’t feel any pressure to jump back into the dating game until you are truly ready.
The best way to meet interesting men is to be an interesting person. Are there places where you could share your passions with others? Recovering from a divorce after 60 is a long and difficult process. When you do feel like dating, try not to take it too seriously.